In the immediate aftermath of Similac's formula recall, I find myself glad to be breastfeeding. After all, breast milk will never need to be recalled. My baby will receive only the best, just as nature intended and God provided. Clearly, my decision to breastfeed my baby makes me a superior mother. Right?
Well, yes...and no.
While I do believe that every mother should attempt breastfeeding, barring extenuating circumstances that honestly prevent her from doing so (i.e. she needs to be on a medication that is truly unsafe for her baby and for which there is no safe alternative), I do understand that breastfeeding can be difficult and that not every mother will be able to continue for one reason or another. Lukas and I struggled for months.
Let me repeat that.
Lukas and I STRUGGLED for MONTHS to make breastfeeding work. We were blessed to live in an area where the support we needed was readily available to us. We have a local breastfeeding group that meets at the hospital (which we did not attend at first because I was ashamed by my inability to breastfeed effectively). We have a local LLL chapter (which we are not a part of, simply because we have so many other resources that I enjoy using instead--though, I fully appreciate and endorse the LLL's work). Our hospital has a fabulous Lactation Consultant on staff who not only helps newly delivered moms make their first attempts at latching, but also provides a free home visit (which we were unable to benefit from, thanks to a long and arduous debacle with the hospital). That same fabulous Lactation Consultant also runs a local breastfeeding boutique where she provides free lactation support, free weight checks, and many supplies and resources to help a nursing mother and her baby on their journey. We have a local family doctor who specializes in breastfeeding knowledge. We were even lucky enough to come from a family with a strong history of breastfeeding. Although not available in the beginning, we now belong to a wonderful green parenting playgroup where we offer support to other moms in many areas--including breastfeeding.
We went through difficulties with flat nipples, latching problems, jaundice, a (false) failure to thrive diagnosis and subsequent threats from our (then) pediatrician, nipple shields, ineffective sucking, and a nursing strike. Finally, when Lukas was four months old--that's right, FOUR MONTHS old--we were nursing like pros. We now have a new pediatrician (remember that family doctor who specializes in breastfeeding?). Between her and that fabulous lactation consultant I mentioned, we got through the tough times and I wouldn't trade our current nursing relationship for the world.
All that being said, I know that many women aren't privileged with the abundance of resources and support that I was. Without help, it's more likely than not that I would not be breastfeeding today.
Now, back to the formula issue.
Remember the jaundice I mentioned? The failure to thrive diagnosis? The nursing strike?
My son has had formula.
In bottles.
I know. I'm a horrible, horrible mother. BUT my son didn't starve to death when I was unable (or, in some cases, able, but told I was unable) to make the milk he needed to grow and thrive.
In actuality, what makes me not a horrible mother, but a horrible person is the fact that when I first read about the recall, my first thought was along the lines of "That's what they get for not breastfeeding." It was a short-lived response that brought to light my own superiority complex regarding infant feeding. While I'm thankful that I chose to breastfeed; that I stuck with it; that I don't have to worry about feeding my son chemically engineered sugar water with insect parts in it--I know how I would feel if I were still supplementing with formula and that formula was recalled like Similac was.
Formula exists, in my mind, as a way to feed an infant when the mother is truly unable to supply (or supply enough) breast milk. As gross as it may be, formula is sometimes necessary. Our first response should not be disgust with the parents for feeding their child formula, but disgust with formula companies and lax government regulations on those companies. Such an event should also lead us to recognize that many parents are having to unnecessarily feed their babies formula when they could be feeding their babies breast milk. Why? Because they didn't have the resources and support that Lukas and I had.
It's our responsibility as a society to encourage breastfeeding and supply mothers with all the support and help they need while attempting (and continuing) to breastfeed. It is unfair for us to pass judgment on mothers while we turn our backs on them when they need it the most. Mothers need to hear empowering breastfeeding stories from other mothers to know that it's not always easy, but that it can be done and it's worth it. They need to see other mothers nursing. They need to be allowed to nurse where and when they need to without ostracism. They need what I have and more. And we need to find a way to give them what they need.
